Halloween is danger!

Before you send your children barreling headlong into traffic on their Halloween night’s mad scramble for sugar, be sure to give them a good once-over for safety’s sake.  After all, Halloween can be a rather perilous affair, fraught with hidden danger at every turn.  This instructional filmstrip (at the bottom) from 1977 will help alert you and yours to the dangers of trick-or-treating.

Take, for instance, your child’s choice of costume.  Masks are frowned upon, for they impair visibility.  And so are dark costumes, apparently.  So…“A white costume makes for a different kind of witch.”  Well, it certainly does, what with the pointy white hat and all.  In fact, that color of witch doesn’t make me think of witches at all.  And isn’t that nice?

Also, “it’s a good idea to put your child’s name, address and phone number on the sack...just in case there’s an accident.”  You know, for purposes of identification...because accidents happen, people.

And "always look both ways before crossing the street."  Because cars are so difficult to see at night and, perhaps, your child has never crossed a street.

But most important of all, "have an adult check your candy."  Because other adults are wont to add poison or objects such as razor blades to your candy, kids.  And (little side-note here) "remember to eat a full dinner", as well.  That way you won't eat too much candy on your walk home.

Did we leave anything out?  Maybe.  I mean, how can you really cover everything? Don't run with sharp objects.  Well, that's kind of a given.  Make sure your child's costume is flame retardant—the burn wards are just spilling over with hapless youngsters this time of year.  Oh, and don't accept impromptu invitations into strange houses!  And if you see a car circling the neighborhood, be sure not to accept a ride. Although they might just be checking to see if the poison worked.