The Tear Collectors

Have you ever wanted to dial up a total stranger and just cry your freakin' heart out? No?  Ha!  Sure you haven't...neither have I.  But if you ever did just full-on lose your shit on some poor unsuspecting shmoe, then you know how uncomfortable and embarrassing that can be.  Right?  And wouldn't it be easier to do it anonymously over the phone?  Huh?!  Hey, wait just a goddamn minute--this isn't about me!  Oh, damn you! Damn it all!